


Dresses, Decisions, and... Dick?

by completelyhopeless



Series: Darcy and the Hood [31]
Category: DCU, Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Comment Fic, Community: comment_fic, F/M, Some Humor, i wrote this while i was sick, possible crack
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-02-09
Updated: 2015-02-09
Packaged: 2018-03-11 06:12:54
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 638
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3317141
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/completelyhopeless/pseuds/completelyhopeless
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jason comes back to find Darcy and Dick discussing what she should wear. He's not amused. Neither is Dick.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Dresses, Decisions, and... Dick?

**Author's Note:**

  * For [TourmalineQueen](https://archiveofourown.org/users/TourmalineQueen/gifts).



> For the prompt: _[Any, any, well may you wear](http://comment-fic.livejournal.com/335763.html?thread=59561363)_
> 
> Which fit more when I typed it into google and it told me it was Irish slang for "she's lovely." Or would be if it said "well may she wear."
> 
> I do maybe have the flu, so quality is debatable, though. Sorry.

* * *

“The hell are you doing here?”

“Nice to see you, too, Jason.”

Shaking his head, he looked at Darcy, trying to decide how to take the fact that she was dressed in a silky black thing that was barely there with Dick in his apartment. On the one hand, it was a great view, and he liked it. A lot. On the other hand, she was showing it off to _Dick._ The golden boy was practically a saint and all, and he seemed to be one of those types that stuck to one person—look how long that thing with the alien princess had lasted—and the guy was either in denial or with Babs now—but that didn't mean Jason liked the idea of Dick here alone with Darcy.

Jason folded his arms over his chest. “Answer, Dickie-bird. Now.”

“I decided to take you up on your usual offer.”

“What usual offer?”

“To kill me.”

Jason frowned. “What the hell is going on here?”

“I am so sick of getting caught in the middle of this stuff between you and Darcy. Talk about TMI almost every time we interact, but this dress thing—I would rather be dealing with... the Condiment King.”

Jason snorted. “He was pathetic.”

“Not when he was Jokerized. He killed a lot of people then,” Dick disagreed. He lifted his hand and wiggled his fingers. “Oh, good, feeling is coming back. Maybe I'll be able to get up soon.”

“Darcy,” Jason said, whirling on her. “Did you tase—whoa. What is that?”

“Black Canary picked this one. What do you think?”

“Fishnets,” Jason muttered, unable to get that image of Darcy out of his head for a moment. “Um, fine. Yeah. That's... it's nice.”

“Nice?”

“Hot. Very hot,” Jason corrected, knowing he'd hear something from Dick in a minute about possible drool. “Then again, so was the black one.”

“I know! And there's a purple one and a red one and I don't know which to pick. That's why I made him stay—to help me decide.”

Jason had been dead before. He'd seen some weird things as Robin and after his resurrection, but this was different. “Seriously? You asked _Dick_ for fashion advice?”

“Why not?”

“The first Robin suit,” Jason reminded her. “And I thought I showed you pictures of Discowing.”

Darcy stopped to think. Dick shook his head. “It wasn't _that_ bad.”

“Actually,” Darcy said. “It _was._ Still, I couldn't pick on my own, and I needed opinions.”

“Which I _gave,”_ Dick muttered. “Lady Blackhawk wanted the black one, Black Canary sent that one blue one, Huntress picked purple, Babs said red, Hawkeye said purple, Falcon said red, Stephanie, predictably, said purple, Tim said red was the logical choice, and Damian said they would all make her look like a tart so it didn't matter.”

“I'm going to kill that kid.”

“I am so out of here,” Dick said, pushing himself up from the couch. “Not sure why she wants anyone else's opinion when yours is the one that matters, but I've passed along something from just about every bird I know, so I'm done here.”

Jason was ready to let him go until he saw Darcy had changed into the purple. Damn. “I'm supposed to pick? She looks good in all of them.”

Dick groaned. “No. Not getting involved. Not again. Ask Alfred.”

“Alfred?”

“Come on, Jason. He's like Switzerland. Neutral. What more can you ask for?”

Jason considered that. “Well, he does make good cookies.”

“Let's go right now!” Darcy cried, almost bouncing in the red one. Then she stopped and smiled, leaning against the door. “Well, _after_ we take care of that look on your face.”

“TMI, _again.”_

Jason almost took out a gun, but Darcy grabbed hold of his jacket and pulled him into the bedroom instead.

**Author's Note:**

> Also, since I keep talking about who picked what, here's [a picture of one of Babs' Birds of Prey teams](http://images4.alphacoders.com/215/215824.jpg) to help. Left to right: Huntress, Hawk, Dove, Lady Blackhawk, Black Canary, and Oracle/Babs. Though Dick doesn't know what Hawk and Dove would pick. (I'm assuming red and blue respectively, but I don't know the characters well.)


End file.
